running into singleness
Embracing singleness is one of the most challenging things I am learning at twenty years old. I've listened to podcasts & sermons that reiterate just how vital this period is in my life. It is in this very season that I should be pursuing the Lord the hardest, but sometimes, I really just don't want to. Sometimes I really only want to find satisfaction in having the attention of a man that can affirm me in the flesh. Sometimes the Enemy tells me that's all I need -- that a man's affection can satisfy me. In this lie, there is temptation. There's temptation to settle, to pursue a guy whose intentions are far from the good of the Lord's. There's temptation to put myself in situations that would more than likely lead to unholy things. The world wants me to believe that my brokenness can be healed by a broken man, that this sin will disappear when I lay it on someone else.
BUT, when I truly allow the Lord to speak Life into me, He floods my mind with Truth. This Truth reminds me over and over and over through grace upon grace that I DO NOT HAVE TO BE MARRIED TO HAVE PURPOSE. Does my heart long for marriage? Oh, absolutely YES. This desire has been planted in my heart since I was a little girl, but I now know that ultimately it's pointing to something, someONE GREATER. Hang on. Pause. What if we collectively began to teach younger generations about the REAL MARRIAGE we're illustrating here? What if we began sharing the reality with them that they may not get married, but that's okay because in His perfect timing, we will be face to face with our ever-present, fully satisfying, always faithful GOD? I am constantly having to tell myself that just because my longing to share life with a man is a GOD-GIVEN, GOOD desire to have, that does not mean He will fulfill it on this side of eternity, & that is okay. My eyes have been opened to the beautiful picture of what marriage is meant to be -- a reflection of the Gospel. Marriage is the most exquisite illustration of Jesus' love for His Church. I marvel at the creativity of the Lord when I process how truly divine a life-giving marriage is. AND AND AND. Look at how He crafted man & woman for one another! WOW, but we can talk about that on another blog post.
SO, how do I learn to rest in the idea that He may call me to singleness while I'm here?
A part of me is thinking, "is it okay for people to know that He is still revealing the answer to me?" & to that I'm going to boldly proclaim that YES, it's okay for me admit that I am still growing & learning how to fully trust God in His sovereign plan. I think it's important to remember that just as He offers us abounding grace, we should remember to give ourselves some grace, too. It's so easy for me to compare my growth with another believer's, & when I do this I'm left feeling like I'm not doing enough to be fully His. In reality, He just wants me to follow Him. He simply asks me to walk with Him & abide in Him alone. Friends, all He wants is YOU. He wants you to pursue Him & share what He's doing in & through you. He desires for you to know a Peace that promises rest, a Love that will never waver, a Life that is lived openly & spaciously.
When we know Him, trusting Him comes easy, & when we trust Him, we allow His will for us to fall into place.