discovering myself through self-portraiture
Self-portraiture always seemed a little difficult / scary / weird / uncomfortable to me. I don't really know why, but it wasn't something I ever chose to try just for the heck of it, not until yesterday, that is. I'm studying abroad in France currently, & it had been raining all morning. By this point, it was 2pm & I had only gone out of my little room to eat a baguette & to use the restroom. I hadn't even brushed my teeth, yet, but as I listened to the rain trickle softly outside of my opened window, I felt inspired & I wanted to photograph myself in my purest form -- no makeup, bedhead & all. And to be honest, I felt beautiful. There's something about this European air & authentic aura that gets me feeling all kinds of good in my own skin. So, I thought, "I'll never be this young again, & may never even be in this country again, so why not? Why not capture this very moment where I'm alone, feeling good, & can be whoever I want to be without feeling awkward with someone else behind the lens?"
So I did it. I got up, put on my favorite romper, set up my tripod, & posed however I wanted to. Friends, there is no shame in seeing the beauty in yourself. There is nothing wrong with feeling genuinely GOOD about yourself. It's a disservice to the Lord when we bash what makes us unique (preaching to the choir here!), whether that be the cellulite you're tired of seeing every time you sit down, or the little tummy fat that just never seems to go away. For me, it can be both of those things. Sometimes it's my oily skin, scars from breakouts, losing my flexibility that used to come so easily, having a dry scalp, etc. etc. Let's stop pointing out what we dislike, & zoom in real close to what we adore about who we are. When we do so, we see more & more of the Lord in us, & how He views His children.